Worth

“So how is your relationship with your parents?” Asked the interviewer. “Not so good, I would say just about okay.” replied the interviewee. “And that directly means? The interviewer asked again with a little smirk on her face. The uncanny smile was instantly read by the interviewee. Amelia Mathew, the superstar got stuck into flashbacks of her childhood about her parents. How she and her little brother had to suffer. Everything came back to her and that too at the worst time. All the pain and mental torture she had to go through when she was too young.
 Around when she was nine, her mother had to earn for her and her brother and she had a pretty decent job too. Her father would live far away from them. Her mother quit her job so all three of them could go live with her father together as a family and she remembered the night her mother told his father about this.
It was a late night, the lights had gone and it was raining outside. The roof seemed to collapse any minute now. Jason was sitting on the dining table playing with the burning candle which seemed as it would end any minute but was just holding on. “I wanna tell you something.” mom said to dad who had apparently come to visit us for just a day and he had his train next morning so she had to tell him then. “Whatever finish it fast.” he had said. He seemed really pissed off about something and only God knows what. “I left my job so we three can shift and live with you together.” Although to a sane father this would have been such good news, but firstly he wasn’t sane and second not really much of a father. “What?” he shouted standing up from the couch in the drawing room and came walking up to mom who was in the dining room. “Are you out of your mind you stupid lady?” he said awfully loud. It was later I realized tears were sprouting down my cheeks, but I knew I had to hold on. “I can’t keep you.” He said to her and left. He took his duffel bag with him (the only thing he brought with him) and left in the dark, cold, rainy night. None of us bothered to go behind him out there; we all knew he wasn’t worth it. After three months, mom Jason and I left that house to a new place approximately two hours away from our previous one. Mom got a really great job with salary double as compared to the last one. And it’s been forever since any one of us called him or ever talked to him or ever saw him. I had changed my email address (which he helped me to make); we all changed our cell numbers even though we were sure we won’t ever receive a call from him. Mom had made us sworn to not talk to any relative from his side and we followed. After 15 years, it seems really strange to think about that night.
“Ma’am?” asked the interviewer to the lost star and Amelia popped back into the reality. Things have changed now. She is huge, she is grand. Her mother is with her and she takes care of her. Her younger brother is studying at Yale. Everything’s amazing.
“Well I’d say my relations with my father were complicated” she replied back with all her powers and the interviewer realized she better be leaving. “Well thank you so much, ma’am, with you all the best for your future and congratulations on the release of your first album.” Said the interviewer and left immediately.
The next day the article got published on page two but Amelia didn’t really care. Around two pm in the noon, she received a call from an unknown number which was quite unusual. “Hello Amelia Mathew?” said the voice. “Yes, it is” before she could ask the caller how the hell he had received her personal number, the caller said in a hurry “meet me today at the coffee house in an hour, I’ll explain everything there.” She was a curious girl and right now, she was definitely curious to know what this man was up to.
She reached the place mentioned to her at the exact 3’o clock. From far away she saw a man sitting on a table alone, it didn’t take her time to realize who he was. He was her dad. He looked at her and started walking towards her. “Amelia do u recognize me?” the man asked. Of course, she did! “I’m your dad,” he said. “Oh, I’m sorry my dad died when I was little but nice to meet you.” she said with a pleasant smile and then put her hand forward to shake his hand. He was completely stunned, and shook her hand with the most lost look on his face. Amelia didn’t give him any time to speak, to explain his side. She just didn’t care. Then she put on her sunglasses and drove away in her car. She made sure about not looking back. She realized then, some people aren’t worth some other people. And this could go either way.

Names and Realities..

With all her might Mia fired her laptop up, convinced herself to write something down. She was confused and depressed. And the only thing that helped her through all this confusion and depression was writing. She wrote and she wrote with love, with feelings she was going through. Her stories and poems expressed how she felt. She would often express her feelings as one of her protagonist’s. It was her way of venting out; releasing everything she has inside of her which she knew she couldn’t say to anyone.

“She lay on her bed with her eyes shut.” she began writing. “Alone in the dark it seemed as if all her thoughts had occupied the very room she was in. And yet in the darkness she felt she could see everything crystal clear. The dark room didn’t bother her anymore neither did the harsh and cruel world. It didn’t matter to her if she would live to see the next morning sun or die at the very moment. It just didn’t matter anymore. Like always in the morning, she got up with hope and optimism of having a wonderful day ahead. She would always wake up with a fresh feeling about a new day. What can happen so bad to someone that one loses all hope and doesn’t care about life anymore? To someone who dearly understood the importance of life and saw beauty in small things?

She got started with her normal routine, made coffee, took the bus to school where she taught second graders. She was the happiest wife and teacher in the world. She didn’t have any kids but that didn’t become a reason for any sort of pain. Around mid-noon when she sat to have her lunch with other teachers, she got a call; a call that turned her whole world upside down. It was an unknown number to her but she picked it up anyway. 
“Hello?” she said. 
“Hello” replied a man from the other end that seemed in some sort of hurry.
 “Is this Selena Mathew?” the man asked. “Yes, yes that me” she said with a smile which probably would have comforted the man in hurry but unfortunately he couldn’t see it. “Okay ma’am, I’m calling from the hospital. It’s about your husband Josh Mathew.” Replied the man.
 “What about him? She replied checking through her mind what could have gone wrong. He was amazingly fit and happy in the morning before I left for work, she thought to herself. “Ma’am I’m sorry to say but he’s dead.  He met with a road accident. We tried our best but his situation was too critical and we couldn’t save his life. It would be best if you could come to the hospital as soon as possible” as soon as she heard those words, the always-so-happy Selena broke down. Tears rushed down through her eyes all over her cheeks. He was the one in the whole world whom she loved the most and with all her heart. She would be ready to give her life anytime if it meant saving his.
 She reached the hospital and tried to tolerate the pain and the view that followed next. His body lay in front of her, never so still before.”

Satisfied with what she had written, Mia pressed the save button and shut her laptop and kept it aside. After a moment, she reached for something beneath her bed, she picked up an old dusty book like object from underneath. It was her diary. She cleaned off the dust and uncapped the pen lying next to her.

“Dear diary "Mia began. “Josh died today, by a car accident.” she wrote and closed the book and kept it back under from where she picked it up. She kept the pen aside and lay in complete and utter darkness which she had just mentioned a while ago in her word document.
“Given the choice,  she would’ve definitely picked her name to be ‘Selena’.

LOVE

1.  Hers.
Her heart had stopped from the type of messages she had started receiving from him, but her eyes didn't. The tears kept rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably and indescribably. 

"What if he has moved on? Found a girl?" Questions, the other thing that were keeping her sleepless till late night hours. “Well, if that's the case then I’ll be happy for him." she would say whenever asked, a little she broke answering that every time. Her new heart was experienced now. It hurt more telling him the same! Wondering every time- maybe just this time he'll know. But no!! He truly never realized what she ever wanted or meant. No one did, she herself didn't. It was hard for her to say that but she'd say it every now and then with a smile thinking that maybe this one time, he'll see the pain in her eyes

2.  His.

Somewhere far away, he was dying to be with her. Hold her in his arms for nights, but all this couldn't be said. He had started messaging her rudely and carelessly, pretending that he just doesn't care anymore. He knew those rude messages would break her heart but he sent them anyway in hopes that she’ll get tired and move on.

She does say that she will be happy for me if I move on and she does say it with a smile, but still I could see pain in her eyes. She’s good, I’m bad. She doesn’t deserve me. All I do is hurt her, ditch her and make her cry. Still she loves me, is she all right?

I wish she loves someone else and forgets me. I cannot change. I love her and I know she loves me but these things cannot be said right now.

I love her, and want only her betterment even if that means making her move on.

3.  Hers.

Annoyed and tired from his rude messages she decided to call him and confront to him. Opened her keypad and entered his number which she solemnly remembered by heart. “Hello” came from the other end after two rings. His voice brought back millions of memories from the grave and her eyes dropped another tear or two. “Who’s this?” he said a second later. And a gush of pain reached to her feeble heart.

 Felt like a glass splinter was being pushed hard into her heart by someone she dearly loved. At an instant the tears started flooding and she cut the phone. She swore never to call him back again.

4.  His.

 She called!! I can’t believe she called me! But I pretended that I didn’t know who the caller was. How can I forget her number? It’s one of the many things I’d say- written on my heart. I heard her cry after I said ‘who’s this’ and I know she would have sworn to never call me back. But what did she want to say? Oh god what have I done!

Should I call her back? I think I should. Opened his keypad and entered her number which he remembered by heart.

Two rings, three rings, four rings and he cut the phone after that and tried again.

5.  Hers.

Her favorite song had filled the empty room. It was the same number she had dialed few minutes ago. This was his second call. What did he want now? Is he not happy from hurting me this much?

She picked the second call after the third ring.

“Hello” she said.

“Hello” he said and she burst into tears. Silent sobs were her specialty, but in this silence even they sounded like she was sobbing into a microphone.

6.  His.

He couldn’t tolerate her crying on the phone, he wanted her to stop at an instant. But what can he say now? He’s the reason she’s crying, trying her best to not be heard.

What can I say to her? “Hello” in anticipation he said.

“Yah?” she replied sounding pathetic.

“Please stop” he said.

“Stop what?” she asked perfectly knowing what he meant.

“Stop crying” he said.

7.  Hers.

“Like you’ve stopped caring? Listen, if you don’t want to talk to me, don’t message me but I cannot live with your rude and mean messages” she said with her sweetest voice filled with tiredness and a sob at the end.

 He didn’t reply for the next few minutes and she didn’t say anything too. She had accomplished her mission- to tell him how she felt with all those messages.

8.  His.

He was hurt. Why am I hurt? What she has said isn’t a lie! He thought to himself. How can I do this to her? I love her. I love her more than I love myself. And unknown to him, his eyes reciprocated with her eyes; with a tear.

“I love you. I love you more than I love myself. I can never love anyone as much as I love you. I didn’t mean to hurt you but you deserve someone better. Someone much better than me.” He said.

9.  Hers.

She was awestruck. She didn’t know what to say.

He loves me. He loves me so much. She thought to herself.

“I love you too” she said. That was the only thing that came to her mind and that was the only thing that mattered. “I love you too” she said again. This time it was much prettier, much clearer, much bolder and much lovelier.

Love is weird, love is cute. Love is what takes away your sleep and it is what takes away your night and day. It takes away you from yourself. Love is that feeling which has a different definition for everyone, depends on who you ask. For some love is money, for some it is food. All over the world the one thing that can be found in every nook and cranny, every street and corner, is love.