Well here I am again, after attempting to avoid my gut
twisting and world wrenching feelings they seem to have caught me again, they
always do, or maybe I get tired of running away from them, after all they’re a
part of me..
So readers how you’ve been? Any new year, new me crap? Yeah that
shit never lasts, new year resolutions are like the nights, they seem fun,
moments of opportunity, giving you the power to be someone, someone you’re not
today, someone you want to be, but as soon as you start to settle into the nights,
you hear the crisp chirping of the birds, the curtain edges revealing the morning
rays and you know it’s over, and being the naive people we are struck with
hope, we do it again and again even the times we don’t want to admit we have.
There is something about new year’s, it’s strange but lives would be so
different had every day been Jan 01.
I haven’t written in a while have been trying to avoid it, nothing
good ever comes out of it, for some reason I tend to get unbearably sad that
neither can I nor people around me can handle or want to handle or have the
time to handle. We’re in the fast lane now, opportunities coming at the speed
of light, those missed would never return. Imagine sitting on the terrace,
chilling winter breeze blowing and you’re watching the stars, you’re cold, shivering
but you know for a fact you can’t look away because you might miss that one
broken celestial part that would make all your wishes come true, everything you’ve
ever wanted in the blink of an eye, brings peace to think about it doesn’t it? All
those worries for split second they disappear to a deep dark ditch, you feel
free, satisfied and content till you open your eyes, realize it’s still cold,
still dark, still windy and still empty like it’s always been.
I hope all of you are okay, are trying your best, are
fighting whatever your demons are. I’ll see you again, some other night when I
wouldn’t be able to escape these feelings of mine, writing to you hoping that maybe
these absolutely meaningless and helpless words of mine reach to you well.
-Manisha
