If I was given box and told that my future was inside it, a scroll, revealing it all, because that's how it is right? All our future is written from the moment we are born, the where, the why, the how, the lines of destiny in the palm of your hand, so fucking close, right there in your clutches, quite literally yet so fucking far away (you can tell from the constant swearing I am a bit frustrated).
But it was so, I would probably spend my entire life staring at the box, too exited to see what the future holds for me but even more nervous out of fear. What if I don't get what I want, what if I don't make it to where I want to be, what if you're not in my future? What if you're not my future?
I'd spend seasons sitting there, in my variety of emotions, in fear when the cold chilly breeze hits me, in hope when in the warmth of the spring, filled with possibilities, in despair when the summer heat would rip me of my hope degree by degree as the sun would arch higher in the days, in tears when the monsoon rains would fall, the clouds would cry with me, the cloud would cry for me, in shambles when autumn will fall, when every leaf I saw build up fall to the ground, and yet back again in the fear of the white chill when winter would hit back again.
I'd just sit there and watch it, maybe, just maybe, i'd open up the lid a some days, fix it right back some other days, maybe there'd be a day I'd take a peak some days, just maybe.
What if you're not there? This stupid fear would make me waste the rest of my time with you, waste the rest of my life doing absolutely nothing, but maybe I'd still choose that, because if not you then I want nothing.
They say "aim for the moon, even if you fail, you land among the stars", I did, I shot for the moon and I got it all, the moon and all the stars but then I fell back so hard, right to the very core of the earth.
In fear, hope, despair, tears, in all of it, its only you.
x
