Just a dream?

The blue end of the grey sky seems to come but it never does. 
And the dark clouds of the dark sky seem to remain persistent. The one tone hue that strangely calms me down, gets on the nerves of another. 
The periodic flashes of light that straightens my soul, tears someone else's apart. 
The stars that lie above that dark layer still shimmer with their might and I beneath them. 
The drops now in Symphony fall over my broken self... Seeping into the cracks of my soul and filling them up.
Letting all the butterflies out, I found myself. The tides of the ocean I am.....seem to come still. My fears leave me like the leaves fall off from their branches. These gushes of wind seem to take me somewhere, somewhere I've never been, somewhere I'm meant to be. 

Just then I open my eyes ending the dream of a life time, 
The dream of serenity.
and realised where I am
-a state of uncertainty. 

... Back to being in the state of misery, 
The state of unwanted reality...

THOSE PIECES OF ME

All those million pieces of me,
Tonight I let them free,
I kept them in a safe,
But tonight I bring myself to peace.

All the pieces I put together,
And tried to let them be,
I realized those pieces,
Were only meant to be free.

You broke me,
You tore me apart,
You neither cared about my feelings,
Nor about my heart.

All those times,
You talked about 'always',
Yet your love and care,
lasted only for a few days.

I heard you moved on,
To someone new,
And just like you tonight,
I embrace my new hue.

With my own hands,
I give my old self away,
I finally smile,
As I peacefully lay.

And as the storm sets,
And pleasant breeze starts to blow,
Far far away I see,
My broken million pieces go.

Bare.

He asked me to come bare
And I did comply.
Touched me all over
Without a reply.

His hands encircled,
what mine never touched.
with every move of his,
Blood in my body rushed.

And finally he,
Took off my skirt,
Took off his pants
And then took off his shirt.

With supple moves,
I felt him rise,
And slowly slowly,
He put my top over my eyes.

Blindfolded I was,
But could feel every single thing.
He gave me all sorts of "pleasures"
Except that of a ring.

He winced
And entered,
I moaned
And shattered.

For hours he
moved back and forth
With all his might
And all his force.

And after few hours
When he was at his peace
He wore his clothes and left,
The only thing touching me now was the cold winter breeze.

He came in
With a cigarette in his mouth,
Thought he'd say I was good,
But he just wanted me out.

He asked me to come bare
And I did comply,
"It's all over" I said
And left with a smile too wry

LOVE???

The sad ones are the weak ones.

“She was broken. She didn’t believe in love or anything anymore. She knew she couldn’t trust any guy because they all suck. She put her whole heart out for him, and what he did? He left her when she needed him. She still says I love you to him but she knows that she doesn’t mean it anymore and he says it too but she has no idea how much of it he means as well.”

I don’t choose to believe in the existence of love.

Because it fucking doesn’t exist!!  What do we know about love anyways? “It’s an amazing feeling ….butterflies in the stomach?” Right? Agreed? Well if every individual in this planet is different, then how can all experience the same thing?

Well this ‘phenomena’ is due to cinema. Every time the same scenario…a beautiful girl, handsome guy, chronic problems but then they love each other and the movie ends. Ever noticed about how movies never show what happens next? Well, the audience’s mind understands they live happily and probably die together in a warm bed. Well fucking not!  Just a simple question….do you ever before or after a romantic comedy or plain romantic movie see a screen
, any screen that says “BASED ON TRUE EVENTS?”

Fucking not!!! The only movies with screens reading that are ‘horror movies’. Think about it…..

They probably get married, live together, think they have figured it all out, and then? Then reality seeps in…the love fades out, probably end up getting divorced. Then they wonder what happened!

Love is a big joke. Trust no one, love no one, and stay happy.

Love is nothing. Yes some people actually are together till forever but only some. Love is rare and I respect and honor those who have figured it out. To the rest:-

Love is a fucking waste of time, it doesn’t exist so…

(to girls) stop expecting or imagining that a prince charming is gonna come and save your ass from your miserable fucking life and take you to a place where you both live fucking happily ever after.

(to guys) do not imagine you’re gonna bump into a girl and help her pick up her fucking books and look into her fucking eyes and fall in fucking love.

So with respect to my first few lines….

She was broken? He fucking broke her, love fucking broke her.

She didn’t believe in love anymore? Bitch should have never!!!!!!!

She knew she couldn’t trust any guy because they all suck? Hell yah! They’re all suckers!!

If this doesn’t make you change your fucking mind about love….then go ahead.

Fall in love and then see for yourself when he/ she leaves you for someone better looking (or richer now a days), when he/she says she doesn’t love you anymore, when he/she turns out to be a dick or when he/ she doesn’t support you.

The only outcome of love is sleepless nights when you cry yourself to sleep…when next day you have red eyes. Times when nothing seems right, nothing seems worth it. Times when you give up on life, when you feel that nothing matters.

Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.

Two halves, fused together.

“My melting point is the sweet words that come out of your mouth.” She began to write the letter with a pen in the era of digital messages. 

“You’re that indescribable part of my life that I do not chose to ever forget or lose. We were like two broken pieces that had fused together, to become a whole again. Hope we never break and live our lives as halves because you know darling, having your other half with you makes life much simpler! You’re that other half of mine that completes me, makes me realize what I had been missing in all those years before I met you.

From all your stupid things you said to me to saying ‘I love you”, you grew.

From sharing things with you to sharing a life with you, I grew.

From being ‘best friends forever’ to ‘lovers forever’, we grew.

All the time I look back, I see how amazingly deep we were in pain and thought things would never change and now, I see how things between us have changed unimaginably!

You saw me, you saw my soul, the real me. The ‘me’ I always kept deep inside, hidden from everyone. You saw my pain, my smile, my laughter, my tears and every other thing. No one knew me the way you did and even now, no one knows me the way you do! You were there when everyone left and over the years, I still see you with me. I must have done something pretty good to deserve someone like you, and you my dear, would have done something terribly awful to have someone like me destined for you. Every morning I get up and thank God for you. I am immeasurably sorry for saying all those mean and rude things I said whenever I lost my temper (eight years and I still do!).

You’re my drug, I’m addicted to you! I crave for you, more and more everyday as I still desire to explore every inch of you, as I still want to know every piece of you. Even after writing so much I still am not at all satisfied, I feel that there is no right set of words that can describe you, or your role and place in my life. You came to my pitch black life and enlightened it with merely your presence. The first day, I do not seem to reckon, but what I do is that you have not only changed my life since then but me too!

Love you to an unnamed planet infinite lightyears away and back. I MISS YOU!                

-Yours always, Marie.                                                                                                 

Marie then sensibly folded the letter and placed it under her pillow in a white envelope. The very next day she got up early, acknowledged the presence of the white envelope under her pillow and engaged herself in the early morning chores. At quarter to noon when she was ready, she picked up the envelope and got a bouquet of white lilies: his favorite, she thought as she reached his place.

“I would have e-mailed all this but then I thought you always preferred letters. And then again, giving it personally gave me a good excuse to see you and I didn’t want to miss that!” she said with a sad smile as she lay the white envelope and the bouquet of white lilies on his grave.

And as the mild spring breeze blew, he showered her with the flowers of the tree he was beneath. Just like she said in her letter, he really was that indescribable part of her life.